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No, she wasn’t in love with me. But I clearly knew that she was getting more and more comfortable around me.I gave her my phone number as I was a “special student to be taken care of.”One night, she called me. I was brightened by her call and picked up the phone.Beena: Da, the Principal has given me the responsibility to make sure that you get good marks for my subject. Will you study harder?Me: Sure ma’am. Anything for you.Beena: *silence*Me: Oh sorry ma’am, I meant to say that I would try my best.Beena: Awesome. See you soon in my evening class. Bye.Me: Goodnight, ma’am.The classes continued. We talked more like friends. She told me that she was still single and that she was lying to the college staff about having a husband working in the gulf country because she feared judgements and lusty looks of male staff. My immediate reaction was bewilderment. She noticed it and smiled.She said that she was with many romantic relationships and that none satisfied her.Me: Satisfied?Beena. At the moment, the divorce is pending, it won’t be finalized until January. I guess I am on hold, or maybe in limbo? I don’t know how I should be feeling, I started tearing up when I asked my soon-to-be-ex if he realized what today was. It took him a second, but he remembered. He leaned down, kissed my forehead, and half hugged me. I wanted to scream! I wanted to break something! For ten years I have celebrated special occasions with this man. Today is a regular day for the first time in ten years. I hate this, I don’t know how long it will take me to get used to the current situation. I knew I was not going to deal with today well. I didn’t want to be in the house alone all evening. The other option was to call a friend and explain the sordid story, exposing a weakness. Like hell if I was going to do that. As it turned out, a friend called me, asking if I wanted some company for a few hours. I jumped all over having company. It solved my problem, and I didn’t have to get emotional.
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